My last wish.

I recently read a story about a five year old boy that just had surgery to remove a tumor. In the surgery he lost his sight, but the doctors were able to save his life. He is coping with this loss like anyone would, I'm sure, who wasn't expecting to lose their sight. But to suffer such a huge loss at five seems unbelievable to me. And it scares me. There is nothing I can do to prevent the same thing happening to Annabelle. There is no way I can know for sure that we won't have to survive such a trial. I can only hope that whatever comes our way that we will just survive.

And I was reminded of a conversation that I had with Dave after Annabelle was first born. I was telling him how, when I was young I used to pray, "Please don't let me die before I have my first kiss. Please. Please." and then in high school my wish changed, "Please please don't let me die before I go to college. Please, I really really want to go to college. Please." And then in my twenties, "Please don't let me die before I get married. I love this man and my last wish is just to marry him. Please." And later, "Please don't let me die before I have a baby. For real this time, seriously, this is my last wish. A baby. Please."

And then I had Annabelle.

And all I could think was, "Please, God, please don't let her die. Please. Please..."

When I consider what I would (and will!) do for her I am overwhelmed... And I know what it feels like to truly know that you would die for someone.