79. My husband is my dream come true. We have been together for 7 years, (married for over 4 of those years.) He is the kindest person I've ever met. Every single day I feel grateful for his love.
80. I knew I was going to marry Dave after dating him for only two months. I told him I loved him after only dating him for a month.
81. We are both cat lovers and used to have three cats. Now two of those cats are with Dave's parents. One went missing.
82. Dave and I dated for three years before getting married. We decided NOT to live together prior to getting married. With the exception of our parents, everyone else in our community of friends were very vocal about what a terrible mistake we were making by not co-habitating prior to wedlock.
83. Prior to our relationship both Dave and I had been in serious relationships that ended poorly. We had each been living with our respective partners believing that the next step was marriage.
84. People often remark at how obvious our love is for each other.
85. Dave is very sensitive too. He does an excellent job at communicating his feelings to me. We talk about everything.
86. When we got married Dave promised me that I would never have to wash the dishes again. With only occasionally having to do them myself during Annabelle's first year, he has kept his promise.
87. My teeth are perfectly straight. I have never had braces.
88. Dave and I think that we are hilarious. We make each other laugh all day.
89. We are quite liberally minded people. (It was a stretch for Dave to actually have to vote as a Democrat in the last election.)
90. Having Annabelle has made me a more tolerant, friendlier, and happier person. I smile more often because of her.
91. My favorite color is green. I love tone on tone color combinations.
92. My wedding cake was green. With Han Solo and Princess Leia toppers.
93. I often wish I had some sort of culture or heritage to pass on to Annabelle. But I don't.
94. I would love to adopt a baby. I don't know if this will ever happen. I would definitely adopt from China.
95. I have a twin sister. We are fraternal twins... and yes, they run in the family. When I first found out I was pregnant I figured out that I had about a 10% chance of having twins myself... and freaked out about it until my first ultrasound. (And yes, April, you are a great aunt!)
96. I am very proud of the fact that I delivered Annabelle without drugs.
97. I have a really hard time making friends. I don't have many.
98. I love linens, dishware, and paper. I don't think I could ever have too much nice stationery. And I have a thing for sheets and towels. I have three sets of dishes. Getting these for gifts will never ever get old. I could get any of these things for any gift giving/receiving occasion and always always be happy about it. (Maybe if I liked clothes as much as I liked having a nice pen I would be a better dresser.)
99. I read every single night before going to bed. If I don't read, I can't fall asleep.
100. I drink about 15-18 cups of water a day. I know without a doubt that it keeps my skin looking awesome.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
My 100 things meme- Everyone's doing it so why not me?
1. I love whale watching.
2. I have pretty feet.
3. I have been asked for my autograph about half a dozen times. (I have no idea who they thought I was, but I always sign my name after writing something like "Follow your dreams!" or "Good Luck!")
4. I hated everything about being pregnant.
5. Bacon is my all time favorite food.
6. I really love to eat salad. I average probably five salads a week easy.
7. I have lots of freckles. (Or just one freckle that traces it's way across my entire body.)
8. My hair is naturally very curly.
9. I love to read novels. Especially about life in Europe during the late 1800s.
10. I faint easily.
11. My all time favorite band is the Indigo Girls. I have every album and have cried when seeing them in concert.
12. I look best in dark brown and navy blue. (Not together.)
13. I am very tall- nearly 5'11".
14. With the exception of the entire last year I have always been athletic.
15. I seem to be very good at whatever sport I try. So far. In college I went from a novice rower to JV to Varsity boat in less than two semesters.
16. One of my dreams is to be a professional ballroom dancer.
17. I love to cook.
18. I shower at night.
19. In college I majored in Physics. I think I left all those brain cells behind when I graduated. I regret not majoring in Art or English.
20. I wash my hands obsessively.
21. I have never smoked a cigarette.
22. Some day I will get a tattoo.
23. I am a very optimistic person.
24. I can also be very critical, but have learned to be silent about those thoughts.
25. I took piano lessons for fifteen years. I miss playing.
26. I took second place in the Miss Sonoma CountyBeauty Pageant Scholarship Program when I was 23.
27. I have thrown up from drinking too much only once. I rarely drink any more.
28. Before I got pregnant I didn't really like chocolate. I developed a serious love for chocolate cake in my second trimester. Now I dream about eating it.
29. I hate it when people talk about karma as if they are describing some sort of tally system that's kept by God.
30. One of my pet peeves is when people misspell "a lot".
31. I traveled to the Soviet Union the same week that Lithuania seceded from the Union. It was 1990. I was 15.
32. I don't like scary movies.
33. I am a feminist. I also went to an all-women's college.
34. I get stomach aches. If I'm upset, or nervous while eating, or eat even the smallest amount of garlic, I get a roaring stomach ache. Last year I discovered that Mother's Milk Tea cures my tummy problems.
35. In high school I was a founding member of the anti-drug and alcohol club. It's still running after 17 years.
36. The first time I tasted alcohol I got drunk. I was 17 and had just graduated from high school. A friend of mine was drinking 7/7s and I liked the taste so he bought me a few over the course of an evening. I had NO idea they were alcoholic. Until later.
37. I got into trouble a lot in college- for hanging protesting signs, or for sunbathing nude on the lawn, or for "exposing" the truth about something. I always gave the security guard the name of some girl at school I didn't like and claimed I lost my ID card. Now I realize there is a possibility that those instances are on their permanent record and I feel a little bad about it.
38. I used to teach aerobics. Yes, I wore a thong.
39. I have high expectations for my friends.
40. I like to sew. I've made a few quilts, several dolls for Annabelle, and many many pillowcases. And a couple skirts.
41. I would really like to know how to play the guitar.
42. People mean more to me than they realize.
43. For my fortieth birthday I'm getting a breast reduction. I can hardly wait!
44. I like to play games. Board game type games. Especially Knizia games.
45. I have stretched for 5-10 minutes before bed every single night since I was about twelve.
46. I wish I was a better dresser. It's not a strong skill of mine.
47. I have never been dumped. I've been cheated on and neglected and even a little abused, but it was always me leaving them.
48. I am a very sensitive person. I take things personally and am pretty thin skinned. It is very easy to hurt my feelings, though I may not let you know you did it. A therapist once called me an over-responder.
49. Though it might seem a rather strange match with #48, I am an incredibly confident person. I rarely second guess myself, I know myself well enough to make quick decisions, and am very impatient with any insecurities... whether mine or yours.
50. I don't know what I want to do with my life.
51. Someday I will be self-employed. It would be awesome to run a business with my husband.
52. Being married is a million times better than I thought it would be. Probably because my husband rocks!
53. I wish I had more friends.
54. I've tried marijuana, mushrooms, and speed. And I'll most likely never do any drugs ever again.
55. If I had more time I would sew more, write a book about cemeteries, start running again, and write a business plan for my own business. In that order.
56. I think that Dave and I will eventually move from Orange County, CA to Portland, OR.
57. Blogging has really helped me feel connected to a community of parents. I really wish I could meet some of my fellow bloggers.
58. Once, on my bike, I clocked myself going 50 miles per hour down this really steep hill. It was stupid, I know, but thrilling!
59. A few times on my bike I played chicken and blew through red lights without looking in either direction. Another stupid but thrilling moment...
60. Mexican food is my all time favorite type of food. Sushi is second. I strongly dislike Chinese food.
61. My favorite movie is That Thing You Do... hilarious without a speck of violence, sex, or swearing.
62. I love visiting zoos.
63. I used to think I was a good dancer. But now I actually think I'm a pretty poor dancer.
64. I avoid the sun as much as possible and prefer to have no tan at all. It truly distresses me to see that Annabelle is starting to develop a tan... it's nearly impossible to avoid the sun in Southern California. I use sunscreen and sunblock daily.
65. I don't feel like I get a lot of support to breastfeed Annabelle.
66. Shaving my legs feels like such a chore that I avoid it as much as I can get away with. I probably shave twice a month max.
67. Eating sardines regularly has dramatically affected my health.
68. I can't wait for Annabelle to have long hair so that I can braid it.
69. I don't have a strong sweet tooth. I love savory things like chips or fried food.
70. I have dry skin.
71. I am incredibly sensitive to loud noises. I like quiet.
72. I hate the television. Everything we watch comes from NetFlix.
73. I love dishware. Particularly my PortMeirion.
74. I don't like Halloween.
75. I wish I was a more interesting person. I feel pretty boring. I think I've done interesting things in my life, but I don't really feel like those things have made me interesting.
76. In high school my humanities teacher cornered me in the teacher's lounge and gave me a pretty serious french kiss. It scared me terribly at the time and I couldn't look him in the eye for days. When I think about it now it just kind of pisses me off.
77. My life is about my daughter. Any trace of my own identity has pretty much faded since having a baby. My wants and desires are on hold until later. I don't resent Annabelle for this, but I do miss myself. I really hope I will one day have the time and energy to do something for myself again.
78. When I was pregnant my only cravings were popcorn and grapefruit.
Okay, so I owe you another 22 things. This list has already taken up too much time... and Dave's been out of town for a while so I haven't had time to be online much. I'll be back with more later.
2. I have pretty feet.
3. I have been asked for my autograph about half a dozen times. (I have no idea who they thought I was, but I always sign my name after writing something like "Follow your dreams!" or "Good Luck!")
4. I hated everything about being pregnant.
5. Bacon is my all time favorite food.
6. I really love to eat salad. I average probably five salads a week easy.
7. I have lots of freckles. (Or just one freckle that traces it's way across my entire body.)
8. My hair is naturally very curly.
9. I love to read novels. Especially about life in Europe during the late 1800s.
10. I faint easily.
11. My all time favorite band is the Indigo Girls. I have every album and have cried when seeing them in concert.
12. I look best in dark brown and navy blue. (Not together.)
13. I am very tall- nearly 5'11".
14. With the exception of the entire last year I have always been athletic.
15. I seem to be very good at whatever sport I try. So far. In college I went from a novice rower to JV to Varsity boat in less than two semesters.
16. One of my dreams is to be a professional ballroom dancer.
17. I love to cook.
18. I shower at night.
19. In college I majored in Physics. I think I left all those brain cells behind when I graduated. I regret not majoring in Art or English.
20. I wash my hands obsessively.
21. I have never smoked a cigarette.
22. Some day I will get a tattoo.
23. I am a very optimistic person.
24. I can also be very critical, but have learned to be silent about those thoughts.
25. I took piano lessons for fifteen years. I miss playing.
26. I took second place in the Miss Sonoma County
27. I have thrown up from drinking too much only once. I rarely drink any more.
28. Before I got pregnant I didn't really like chocolate. I developed a serious love for chocolate cake in my second trimester. Now I dream about eating it.
29. I hate it when people talk about karma as if they are describing some sort of tally system that's kept by God.
30. One of my pet peeves is when people misspell "a lot".
31. I traveled to the Soviet Union the same week that Lithuania seceded from the Union. It was 1990. I was 15.
32. I don't like scary movies.
33. I am a feminist. I also went to an all-women's college.
34. I get stomach aches. If I'm upset, or nervous while eating, or eat even the smallest amount of garlic, I get a roaring stomach ache. Last year I discovered that Mother's Milk Tea cures my tummy problems.
35. In high school I was a founding member of the anti-drug and alcohol club. It's still running after 17 years.
36. The first time I tasted alcohol I got drunk. I was 17 and had just graduated from high school. A friend of mine was drinking 7/7s and I liked the taste so he bought me a few over the course of an evening. I had NO idea they were alcoholic. Until later.
37. I got into trouble a lot in college- for hanging protesting signs, or for sunbathing nude on the lawn, or for "exposing" the truth about something. I always gave the security guard the name of some girl at school I didn't like and claimed I lost my ID card. Now I realize there is a possibility that those instances are on their permanent record and I feel a little bad about it.
38. I used to teach aerobics. Yes, I wore a thong.
39. I have high expectations for my friends.
40. I like to sew. I've made a few quilts, several dolls for Annabelle, and many many pillowcases. And a couple skirts.
41. I would really like to know how to play the guitar.
42. People mean more to me than they realize.
43. For my fortieth birthday I'm getting a breast reduction. I can hardly wait!
44. I like to play games. Board game type games. Especially Knizia games.
45. I have stretched for 5-10 minutes before bed every single night since I was about twelve.
46. I wish I was a better dresser. It's not a strong skill of mine.
47. I have never been dumped. I've been cheated on and neglected and even a little abused, but it was always me leaving them.
48. I am a very sensitive person. I take things personally and am pretty thin skinned. It is very easy to hurt my feelings, though I may not let you know you did it. A therapist once called me an over-responder.
49. Though it might seem a rather strange match with #48, I am an incredibly confident person. I rarely second guess myself, I know myself well enough to make quick decisions, and am very impatient with any insecurities... whether mine or yours.
50. I don't know what I want to do with my life.
51. Someday I will be self-employed. It would be awesome to run a business with my husband.
52. Being married is a million times better than I thought it would be. Probably because my husband rocks!
53. I wish I had more friends.
54. I've tried marijuana, mushrooms, and speed. And I'll most likely never do any drugs ever again.
55. If I had more time I would sew more, write a book about cemeteries, start running again, and write a business plan for my own business. In that order.
56. I think that Dave and I will eventually move from Orange County, CA to Portland, OR.
57. Blogging has really helped me feel connected to a community of parents. I really wish I could meet some of my fellow bloggers.
58. Once, on my bike, I clocked myself going 50 miles per hour down this really steep hill. It was stupid, I know, but thrilling!
59. A few times on my bike I played chicken and blew through red lights without looking in either direction. Another stupid but thrilling moment...
60. Mexican food is my all time favorite type of food. Sushi is second. I strongly dislike Chinese food.
61. My favorite movie is That Thing You Do... hilarious without a speck of violence, sex, or swearing.
62. I love visiting zoos.
63. I used to think I was a good dancer. But now I actually think I'm a pretty poor dancer.
64. I avoid the sun as much as possible and prefer to have no tan at all. It truly distresses me to see that Annabelle is starting to develop a tan... it's nearly impossible to avoid the sun in Southern California. I use sunscreen and sunblock daily.
65. I don't feel like I get a lot of support to breastfeed Annabelle.
66. Shaving my legs feels like such a chore that I avoid it as much as I can get away with. I probably shave twice a month max.
67. Eating sardines regularly has dramatically affected my health.
68. I can't wait for Annabelle to have long hair so that I can braid it.
69. I don't have a strong sweet tooth. I love savory things like chips or fried food.
70. I have dry skin.
71. I am incredibly sensitive to loud noises. I like quiet.
72. I hate the television. Everything we watch comes from NetFlix.
73. I love dishware. Particularly my PortMeirion.
74. I don't like Halloween.
75. I wish I was a more interesting person. I feel pretty boring. I think I've done interesting things in my life, but I don't really feel like those things have made me interesting.
76. In high school my humanities teacher cornered me in the teacher's lounge and gave me a pretty serious french kiss. It scared me terribly at the time and I couldn't look him in the eye for days. When I think about it now it just kind of pisses me off.
77. My life is about my daughter. Any trace of my own identity has pretty much faded since having a baby. My wants and desires are on hold until later. I don't resent Annabelle for this, but I do miss myself. I really hope I will one day have the time and energy to do something for myself again.
78. When I was pregnant my only cravings were popcorn and grapefruit.
Okay, so I owe you another 22 things. This list has already taken up too much time... and Dave's been out of town for a while so I haven't had time to be online much. I'll be back with more later.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Mad Libs
I snagged this cute idea from my blogging friend Gina over at Working Mom of 1...
Copy this letter and paste it to my comments. Then fill in the blanks. If you want, copy the blank letter to your blog with your name after "Dear," and I will come and fill one out for you...
Dear Allysun - Angel Baby,
I _____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars.
Love, _______________
(P.S. ______________.)
Copy this letter and paste it to my comments. Then fill in the blanks. If you want, copy the blank letter to your blog with your name after "Dear," and I will come and fill one out for you...
Dear Allysun - Angel Baby,
I _____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars.
Love, _______________
(P.S. ______________.)
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Cemetery PhotoBlog #4 - Mission San Juan Capistrano Cemetery
When I first saw this cemetery I was surprised to find that there were only about twelve or so graves. I had expected it to be pretty big... but then I learned that there were over 2000 people buried there, all the graves are all unmarked.
Annabelle had walked around this grave and popped out trying to surprise me. She laughed hysterically at her own joke. Thankfully I was paying attention and saw where she was going and what she was about to do so I had the camera ready to catch her at the exact moment that she hopped out in front of me. She squealed with laughter and pride at the game...
Munching on her apple... Annabelle was having a very gregarious day and waved at everyone.
Annabelle had walked around this grave and popped out trying to surprise me. She laughed hysterically at her own joke. Thankfully I was paying attention and saw where she was going and what she was about to do so I had the camera ready to catch her at the exact moment that she hopped out in front of me. She squealed with laughter and pride at the game... 
This tall Celtic cross was erected by Father O'Sullivan as a memorial to those who built the mission. His tomb is directly in front of the cross.
Deconstipation.
I cannot seem to get Annabelle unconstipated. I know this may not be the greatest topic for a blog, but I'm at my wits end with this issue. We are, literally, losing sleep over it.
A few weeks ago I took Annabelle to the doctor because I thought her reflux was coming back. He asked a bunch of questions and pronounced her constipated, handed me a flyer of good foods vs. bad foods and encouraged me to ply her with water. Apparently really bad constipation can affect the tummy after a while and create all sorts of upsets.
When I reviewed the list of "bad" foods I realized they composed the majority of Annabelle's diet: rice, rice cakes, bananas, blueberries, apples, and also (she occasionally eats) corn, potatoes, and carrots. She doesn't eat anything on the "good" side: apricots, figs, grapes, raisins, beets, green beans, wheat, etc. The girl already drinks water like you wouldn't believe.
So one day she pointed at some grapes and I gave her half of one. She loved it, signed for more, and in about five minutes ate fifteen grapes. (Thirty halves.) I was THRILLED. I don't think she's ever eaten that much in a single sitting and finding a food she liked that was actually good for her (constipation wise) was an excellent discovery. But the very next day she snubbed the grapes I offered her. Oh.
So I bought red grapes instead of green. She was back on track with pounding fists of them into her mouth and having a great time munching away. That was about four days ago.
Fast forward to this morning about 3am. Annabelle woke up screaming at 1am and it took me until about 4am to get her back to sleep. Why? WHY??? WWWwwwwwhhhhhhhyyyyYYYY!!! I am f*%&king DONE with long periods of wakefulness in the middle of the night. It's just too much. So as I'm laying there on the floor with her in the middle of the night it occurred to me: we've had four days of wakefulness. She's been eating grapes for four days. Bingo! She's allergic to grapes, along with everything else.
This is, of course, just a theory. So many periods of wakefulness have been determined to be the result of nothing. The stars colliding. Poor biorhythms. Who knows?
Each night this week (so far) has been rough. Why is she screaming? Why is she awake? Was it the 1/2 ounce (No exaggeration of size!) of feta (My first dairy in 14 months!!) I had in my salad? The next night- was it the 1/2 oz (No exaggeration of size!) of vodka (My first in 10 months!) in my orange juice after dinner? The third night- did she react to her few tastes of fish??
If I could talk to God right now, I'd ask, "Dude. Come ON. Can I eat some cheese please? Can she? What about wheat? Can she handle a cookie now and then? Is it REALLY something I've eaten? What can the girl eat??? What is her problem??" But instead of debating with God over Annabelle's allergies and constipation I am mixing her deconstipation cocktails:
The Poop Martini
2 shots prune juice
1 teaspoon cod liver oil
4 ounces water
3-4 ice cubes
Serve in a purple straw cup.
No, she doesn't really like it. I chase her around shoving the straw in her face trying to get her to take little sips. I mean, really, this drink would make ME poop, so why not her? I don't get it. If I don't see some major poop tomorrow I'm going to have to try a suppository I think. Has anyone else tried this? ON THEIR BABY??
She just went down to sleep and I'm hoping our No Grapes day helps her sleep better so that Dave and I can sleep better.
A few weeks ago I took Annabelle to the doctor because I thought her reflux was coming back. He asked a bunch of questions and pronounced her constipated, handed me a flyer of good foods vs. bad foods and encouraged me to ply her with water. Apparently really bad constipation can affect the tummy after a while and create all sorts of upsets.
When I reviewed the list of "bad" foods I realized they composed the majority of Annabelle's diet: rice, rice cakes, bananas, blueberries, apples, and also (she occasionally eats) corn, potatoes, and carrots. She doesn't eat anything on the "good" side: apricots, figs, grapes, raisins, beets, green beans, wheat, etc. The girl already drinks water like you wouldn't believe.
So one day she pointed at some grapes and I gave her half of one. She loved it, signed for more, and in about five minutes ate fifteen grapes. (Thirty halves.) I was THRILLED. I don't think she's ever eaten that much in a single sitting and finding a food she liked that was actually good for her (constipation wise) was an excellent discovery. But the very next day she snubbed the grapes I offered her. Oh.
So I bought red grapes instead of green. She was back on track with pounding fists of them into her mouth and having a great time munching away. That was about four days ago.
Fast forward to this morning about 3am. Annabelle woke up screaming at 1am and it took me until about 4am to get her back to sleep. Why? WHY??? WWWwwwwwhhhhhhhyyyyYYYY!!! I am f*%&king DONE with long periods of wakefulness in the middle of the night. It's just too much. So as I'm laying there on the floor with her in the middle of the night it occurred to me: we've had four days of wakefulness. She's been eating grapes for four days. Bingo! She's allergic to grapes, along with everything else.
This is, of course, just a theory. So many periods of wakefulness have been determined to be the result of nothing. The stars colliding. Poor biorhythms. Who knows?
Each night this week (so far) has been rough. Why is she screaming? Why is she awake? Was it the 1/2 ounce (No exaggeration of size!) of feta (My first dairy in 14 months!!) I had in my salad? The next night- was it the 1/2 oz (No exaggeration of size!) of vodka (My first in 10 months!) in my orange juice after dinner? The third night- did she react to her few tastes of fish??
If I could talk to God right now, I'd ask, "Dude. Come ON. Can I eat some cheese please? Can she? What about wheat? Can she handle a cookie now and then? Is it REALLY something I've eaten? What can the girl eat??? What is her problem??" But instead of debating with God over Annabelle's allergies and constipation I am mixing her deconstipation cocktails:
The Poop Martini
2 shots prune juice
1 teaspoon cod liver oil
4 ounces water
3-4 ice cubes
Serve in a purple straw cup.
No, she doesn't really like it. I chase her around shoving the straw in her face trying to get her to take little sips. I mean, really, this drink would make ME poop, so why not her? I don't get it. If I don't see some major poop tomorrow I'm going to have to try a suppository I think. Has anyone else tried this? ON THEIR BABY??
She just went down to sleep and I'm hoping our No Grapes day helps her sleep better so that Dave and I can sleep better.
More prune-fish oil tomorrow dear little one. Mama needs to see the poop!!!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Thursday, July 06, 2006
My confession...
It seems that out there in the blogsphere Dr. Sears takes an awful lot of flack.
Honestly, I don't really see why. The only justification I've heard is that they think his Attachment Parenting methods are impractical and impossible. Sure AP parenting requires a lot of work, but we didn't have a baby because we thought it would be easy, right? Dave and I practice AP parenting methods. We love them. We see that they help our highly spirited daughter.
We are not one sided, close minded people. There are different ways of doing things out there. Every child deserves to be parented in the way that best supports him or her. Our best way closely aligns itself with the Dr. Sears approach. And perhaps by confessing my secret I alienate my (small) readership... I don't mean to! But I'm tired of hiding. So here it goes:
Dr. Sears is our pediatrician. Yes, THAT Dr. Sears.
We feel incredibly fortunate. And whether you are gagging or green with jealousy, I've decided to feel good about our good fortune and come out of the closet as an AP supporter!
I was just reading about how around 50% of families in the US practice co-sleeping in some form. I think the author includes zipping your toddler or young child up in a sleeping bag next to your bed in this statistic as equally as she includes placing your newborn between you and your husband while you sleep. But I found the news encouraging. Co-sleeping (aka Family Bed) is not really such the weird thing that people make it out to be. And the United States is one of the very few countries where co-sleeping isn't the norm.
I remember when I was a child that I spent a lot of nights curled up in my parent's closet, near their bed. I don't really remember if I was there when I was sick, or if I had a bad dream, or what... but part of me always knew that if I wanted to sleep there, I could. Being in their closet was a safe place for me. It smelled like my mom and there was no room for monsters with me on the floor. I have no idea how often my sister slept there, and I never really thought about my experience there until recently... now that Annabelle is a toddler and Dave and I are getting tired of getting kicked in the middle of the night. Our closet is looking like a nice alternative to our bed at this point. (For Annabelle, not me! Heheh.)
Honestly, I don't really see why. The only justification I've heard is that they think his Attachment Parenting methods are impractical and impossible. Sure AP parenting requires a lot of work, but we didn't have a baby because we thought it would be easy, right? Dave and I practice AP parenting methods. We love them. We see that they help our highly spirited daughter.
We are not one sided, close minded people. There are different ways of doing things out there. Every child deserves to be parented in the way that best supports him or her. Our best way closely aligns itself with the Dr. Sears approach. And perhaps by confessing my secret I alienate my (small) readership... I don't mean to! But I'm tired of hiding. So here it goes:
Dr. Sears is our pediatrician. Yes, THAT Dr. Sears.
We feel incredibly fortunate. And whether you are gagging or green with jealousy, I've decided to feel good about our good fortune and come out of the closet as an AP supporter!
I was just reading about how around 50% of families in the US practice co-sleeping in some form. I think the author includes zipping your toddler or young child up in a sleeping bag next to your bed in this statistic as equally as she includes placing your newborn between you and your husband while you sleep. But I found the news encouraging. Co-sleeping (aka Family Bed) is not really such the weird thing that people make it out to be. And the United States is one of the very few countries where co-sleeping isn't the norm.
I remember when I was a child that I spent a lot of nights curled up in my parent's closet, near their bed. I don't really remember if I was there when I was sick, or if I had a bad dream, or what... but part of me always knew that if I wanted to sleep there, I could. Being in their closet was a safe place for me. It smelled like my mom and there was no room for monsters with me on the floor. I have no idea how often my sister slept there, and I never really thought about my experience there until recently... now that Annabelle is a toddler and Dave and I are getting tired of getting kicked in the middle of the night. Our closet is looking like a nice alternative to our bed at this point. (For Annabelle, not me! Heheh.)
Counting Sheep
As some of you know, Annabelle doesn't sleep. She never really has. She is what Dr. Sears describes as a high-need baby... she needs more of everything (interaction, help, attention, physical contact, energy, redirection, communication, sensitivity, empathy, nursing, etc.) except sleep. I don't think she slept more than two hours in a row until she was 10 months. And if you added up all those little snatches of sleep, she probably slept about 10 hours a day -including naps! We could never stop checking the sleep charts they say a baby her age should sleep 16-18 hours a day at this many months, or 14-16 hours at that many months, etc. So we were VERY aware that she slept less than what some books called normal.
Dave and I are adamantly against using the cry-it-out "method." Though we have considered the idea at times, and though we have suffered extreme sleep deprivation, we have not yet felt the need to try something so seemingly harsh and possibly ineffective. If Dave was in a dark bedroom crying I certainly would rush to comfort him, so why would I provide anything less for my daughter? (And, no, this is not the extent of justifying my position against CIO. Trust me, you don't want to get me started!)
Annabelle's lack of sleep is not due to our lack of trying to get her to sleep. I promise that we have tried everything. (CIO is not actually doing anything, so we don't consider that an option.) Over the last few months we have become really serious about our efforts towards getting more sleep. Gradually, these efforts are paying off! Figuring out Annabelle's allergies has been key in helping prevent night waking. We are also big fans of Elizabeth Pantley and found her suggestions very helpful. We have also tried, without success, alternative methods using homeopathics or occupational therapy. Once we visited a chiropractor who told me that she was allergic to the nightshade food group. In the end, it all seemed like a load of crap.
Last week I was reading a blog that referred to another blog that I found really interesting. She had some very interesting things to say about sleep and CIO. She also helped me to recognize that some babies cry just to get it all out of their system and calm themselves down, while others (like Annabelle) wake themselves up and build tension when they cry. The post was fascinating and if you missed the link in my last sentence, I'll give it to you again here. I read through some of her stuff on reflux and contacted another reader who said that she had had great success with her son's reflux via the help of chiropractic care.
So I contacted a chiropractor yesterday and we got a same day appointment. He adjusted Annabelle (no neck cracking- a different milder adjustment is used for babies) and told me that he could help her. I've been sucked in before with hope and anxiety. (What if this actually WORKS!?!?! Oh God, what if it doesn't!?!?!) So, I thought, yeah, we'll see.
Last night she slept two four hour and one three hour stretches. A rarity. A miraculous "holy shit, I think it's working" phenomenon. So this morning I called for another appointment. We went back for a second adjustment. And so far we are 2.5 hours into the night without a peep. I marvel at the possibility that this might just be IT. I've already made our third, fourth, and fifth appointments. We are going to fix this thing.
Like the chiro said, "Annabelle's reflux isn't because she doesn't have enough Prevacid in her blood, right?" There's another cause. And maybe it's a little out there to think that real life trauma to the spine can be caused bya dramatic fast-as-hell five hour birth, but right now approaching the sleep/reflux issue from that point of view is really helping. And considering I was on the edge of doing voodoo to solve the problem, chiropractic care is looking pretty mainstream.
Dave and I are adamantly against using the cry-it-out "method." Though we have considered the idea at times, and though we have suffered extreme sleep deprivation, we have not yet felt the need to try something so seemingly harsh and possibly ineffective. If Dave was in a dark bedroom crying I certainly would rush to comfort him, so why would I provide anything less for my daughter? (And, no, this is not the extent of justifying my position against CIO. Trust me, you don't want to get me started!)
Annabelle's lack of sleep is not due to our lack of trying to get her to sleep. I promise that we have tried everything. (CIO is not actually doing anything, so we don't consider that an option.) Over the last few months we have become really serious about our efforts towards getting more sleep. Gradually, these efforts are paying off! Figuring out Annabelle's allergies has been key in helping prevent night waking. We are also big fans of Elizabeth Pantley and found her suggestions very helpful. We have also tried, without success, alternative methods using homeopathics or occupational therapy. Once we visited a chiropractor who told me that she was allergic to the nightshade food group. In the end, it all seemed like a load of crap.
Last week I was reading a blog that referred to another blog that I found really interesting. She had some very interesting things to say about sleep and CIO. She also helped me to recognize that some babies cry just to get it all out of their system and calm themselves down, while others (like Annabelle) wake themselves up and build tension when they cry. The post was fascinating and if you missed the link in my last sentence, I'll give it to you again here. I read through some of her stuff on reflux and contacted another reader who said that she had had great success with her son's reflux via the help of chiropractic care.
So I contacted a chiropractor yesterday and we got a same day appointment. He adjusted Annabelle (no neck cracking- a different milder adjustment is used for babies) and told me that he could help her. I've been sucked in before with hope and anxiety. (What if this actually WORKS!?!?! Oh God, what if it doesn't!?!?!) So, I thought, yeah, we'll see.
Last night she slept two four hour and one three hour stretches. A rarity. A miraculous "holy shit, I think it's working" phenomenon. So this morning I called for another appointment. We went back for a second adjustment. And so far we are 2.5 hours into the night without a peep. I marvel at the possibility that this might just be IT. I've already made our third, fourth, and fifth appointments. We are going to fix this thing.
Like the chiro said, "Annabelle's reflux isn't because she doesn't have enough Prevacid in her blood, right?" There's another cause. And maybe it's a little out there to think that real life trauma to the spine can be caused by
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Audrey
I used to nanny a three year old named Audrey when I lived in San Francisco. Her parents were self defined feminists. The unfun kind of feminists that (from my perspective) get feminism all bunched up and twisted around to look like a feminist who is the wife must be stronger or more powerful than the feminist who is the husband. It's that uncomfortable power dynamic whenever one person in a committed relationship is calling all the shots and the other one just hangs their head and says "Sorry" for everything. If the wife is the power player, then they called it feminism. Part of their belief was in making sure that their little girl used the proper terminology for all of her body parts. This was before the Vagina Monologues came out, so you can imagine the shock value this had when they spoke to Audrey about her privates in public. (Her parents were, in every other way, really awesome and terrific parents. I learned a LOT from them about raising an empowered, happy child.)
Often, in my afternoons with Audrey we went to the same parks, shops, eateries each week. Most of the people in those places knew us by sight and some probably assumed I was her mom. Sometimes she even called me mom and we had similar features too, so it would have been an easy mistake to make.
That week Audrey's mom had just learned she was pregnant, but I was unaware that they had already explained everything in great detail to their three year old girl. As we were standing in the ice cream shop Audrey said loudly, "My mom's pregnant!" and at the same time that I made the "uh-oh, this lady thinks I'm her mom and I'm not" face, the lady behind the counter made the "oh! congratulations I'm so happy for you" face. But before either of us said a word, Audrey blurted, "Yes! She has a baby in her uterus and in nine months it's going to come out of her vagina!" And at the same time both the lady and myself made the, "oh my god" face and I grabbed our ice cream and rushed Audrey out of the shop. We never went back.
I knew that Audrey's parents would have been exceptionally proud of her for her candor, but I never mentioned it to them because I didn't want to encourage more outbursts.
Often, in my afternoons with Audrey we went to the same parks, shops, eateries each week. Most of the people in those places knew us by sight and some probably assumed I was her mom. Sometimes she even called me mom and we had similar features too, so it would have been an easy mistake to make.
That week Audrey's mom had just learned she was pregnant, but I was unaware that they had already explained everything in great detail to their three year old girl. As we were standing in the ice cream shop Audrey said loudly, "My mom's pregnant!" and at the same time that I made the "uh-oh, this lady thinks I'm her mom and I'm not" face, the lady behind the counter made the "oh! congratulations I'm so happy for you" face. But before either of us said a word, Audrey blurted, "Yes! She has a baby in her uterus and in nine months it's going to come out of her vagina!" And at the same time both the lady and myself made the, "oh my god" face and I grabbed our ice cream and rushed Audrey out of the shop. We never went back.
I knew that Audrey's parents would have been exceptionally proud of her for her candor, but I never mentioned it to them because I didn't want to encourage more outbursts.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Toddlers are dangerous
Obviously when a child grows, they change. But there is something about Annabelle's toddler-hood that has totally taken me off guard. That something is, well, everything.
I felt very prepared for the first year to be tough, but that was NOTHING compared to how hard I'm working these days. Annabelle is still very much a baby and wants to be held and cuddled. But she's also not so much a baby anymore and she wiggles and kicks and throws things and screams and gets frustrated at not being able to do what she wants.
She will not permit me to do ANYTHING outside of her line of sight without emitting constant ear piercing screams. Dakota Fanning style. In fact, she sometimes screams while I'm holding her. Yesterday she screamed more than ten times while near me and today I am honestly suffering in my right ear. It alternates between throbbing and feeling muffled and my hearing capacity is down by about 35 to 40 percent. I'm really worried about it and hoping it's not permanent. When she screamed at me this afternoon, pain shot through my ear and I had to catch my breath. I didn't realize that toddlers could be so dangerous.
I have learned that she screams most often when I am doing something that she cannot witness... like on the kitchen or bathroom counter. And, so, what does a mom do? She goes shopping for a solution: a baby backpack carrier. It might seem extreme, but when I put her in it I saw something in her face I rarely see. Contentment.
Finally, right over mom's shoulder she can view the world as she's always longed to... and I can
start building muscles in my torso from carrying her on my back and give my arms a rest. Along with getting more stuff done, of course. When I was at the store trying it out, the clerk asked me what I planned to use it for... "A trip to Disneyland? Going hiking? Or just out to the supermarket?" I smiled a little sheepishly and said, "Actually, I plan to use it around the house." and then, in my normal apologetic fashion added, "Is that silly?" He smiled and said, "That's what they all want it for."
Oh. I hate it when I feel insecure about something and then find out that it actually is a common problem that mothers don't talk about. (Probably because they're feeling insecure too, eh?)
So, I don't actually think the backpack will allow me to work less, but actually more! I will be able to wash my hands, cook, clean up, and do all the regular wifey things. And hopefully I can avoid more hearing loss.
I felt very prepared for the first year to be tough, but that was NOTHING compared to how hard I'm working these days. Annabelle is still very much a baby and wants to be held and cuddled. But she's also not so much a baby anymore and she wiggles and kicks and throws things and screams and gets frustrated at not being able to do what she wants.
She will not permit me to do ANYTHING outside of her line of sight without emitting constant ear piercing screams. Dakota Fanning style. In fact, she sometimes screams while I'm holding her. Yesterday she screamed more than ten times while near me and today I am honestly suffering in my right ear. It alternates between throbbing and feeling muffled and my hearing capacity is down by about 35 to 40 percent. I'm really worried about it and hoping it's not permanent. When she screamed at me this afternoon, pain shot through my ear and I had to catch my breath. I didn't realize that toddlers could be so dangerous.
I have learned that she screams most often when I am doing something that she cannot witness... like on the kitchen or bathroom counter. And, so, what does a mom do? She goes shopping for a solution: a baby backpack carrier. It might seem extreme, but when I put her in it I saw something in her face I rarely see. Contentment.
Finally, right over mom's shoulder she can view the world as she's always longed to... and I can
start building muscles in my torso from carrying her on my back and give my arms a rest. Along with getting more stuff done, of course. When I was at the store trying it out, the clerk asked me what I planned to use it for... "A trip to Disneyland? Going hiking? Or just out to the supermarket?" I smiled a little sheepishly and said, "Actually, I plan to use it around the house." and then, in my normal apologetic fashion added, "Is that silly?" He smiled and said, "That's what they all want it for."Oh. I hate it when I feel insecure about something and then find out that it actually is a common problem that mothers don't talk about. (Probably because they're feeling insecure too, eh?)
So, I don't actually think the backpack will allow me to work less, but actually more! I will be able to wash my hands, cook, clean up, and do all the regular wifey things. And hopefully I can avoid more hearing loss.
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