Wednesday Morning Brag Book

Father's Day weekend Annabelle discovered the joy of the sprinkler on a hot day. Everyone was over at Grama and Grampa's house for a family celebration and an early dinner. After eating we took Annabelle to the backyard and got out the hose...

Soon her clothes were soaked and heavy, so we stripped her down to a diaper...

Giving Annabelle control of the hose created a little excitement for everyone who got wet as she flailed it around.

...eventually the diaper came off too! Grama had just bought a little splash pool and Annabelle loved it.

Afterwards, in her new denim dress, feeling refreshed.

Cemetery PhotoBlog #3 - Pacific View Memorial Park, Corona Del Mar

Okay, so I only took one shot before my camera's battery died. We'll have to go back. Especially because if I had been on the other side of Annabelle you would have seen the ocean on the horizon instead of Irvine's smoggy downtown.

Sigh.

I'm sick. Again. This time it's bronchitis.

I think I was only fully recovered from my last cold for about three days before getting this one. I can't believe it... and I got to wondering how many times I've been sick since Annabelle was born.

4 head colds
2 intestinal flu-like sickness episodes
1 bronchitis

All in the space of about eleven months. This is not good. The body isn't made to always be fighting illness. And each illness has been progressively worse.

The only good news is that my breast milk ROCKS! Aside from two very brief episodes of Rotovirus, Annabelle is super duper healthy and I have succeeded in protecting her from my stupid sicknesses.

Here are the things that I think are contributing to my problem:

1. very limited diet (Not enough carbs, too much protein, not a well rounded source of vitamins.)

2. sleep deprivation (Up until just a month ago Annabelle was still waking up every two hours around the clock, and she only started sleeping more than six hours at night about three months ago.)

3. living in a new city (Isn't there some theory that the longer you live in an area the less likely you are to catch colds because there are only so many that float around a city over any period of time? And thus, living in a new city you have to catch all the colds that are permanent residents of that particular place?).

Being sick sucks. Sigh.

Is she just bored?

I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about Annabelle's propensity to wake up during the night and she asked me if Annabelle is perhaps understimulated. Understimulated? As in, bored?

You see, Dave and I work pretty hard at creating a really soothing environment for Annabelle because for the past year we've thought (and been told) that night waking is sometimes due to overstimulation. This rung true for us so we sought to have a really long calming bedtime ritual and have limited crazyness during the daytime. Well rested days equals well rested nights. Happy days make for more sleep.

Anyway, I thought about how Annabelle zips through the house at approximately 682 miles an hour leaving total destruction in her wake.

And I thought about how a couple months ago she began her daily ritual of picking up her shoes, walking up to me and pointing at her feet asking me to put them on, then walking to the door and banging it while yelling and pointing to be let out.

And I thought about the 79 books we have in her book corner that she has devoured and recently dismissed as old news.

So I went out and bought her a new toy. One of those stackers. I brought it home and dumped it upside down to remove all the pieces. Then I stacked each piece on it to show her how it went. Then I dumped it over again so she could try.

I left the living room to go get a glass of water and came back to see this:

She did it all on her own, no help from me. I was stunned at her achievement. So the girl's got some fine motor skills. Great!

I have since swapped out about ten books from Grama and Grampa's house and we have reignited Annabelle's little book fetish. Dave and I then went to Target and got her one of these lockboxes. She loves it. We like it too.

We are a little behind in realizing how fast she is developing. She (finally!) does need stimulation. (Not to mention lots of exercise!) So we've been playing music and dancing around and I try to give her little surprises every day: her own deck of cards, some defunct remote controls or cell phones, my whisk from the kitchen, etc. Or I'll put a bunch of her toys in a paper bag and hide them in a place she'll find later. I'll teach her a new baby sign. Yesterday I put an avocado pit in an empty water bottle and she carried that thing around for an hour and banged it on every surface in the house.

I've also given up on teaching her how to use a spoon. I figure that she'll figure it out when she needs to. But I have been very diligent on teaching her how to use a fork and she's gotten pretty good at stabbing watermelon. And she can get it right end in her mouth about 99.9% of the time. The great thing about this is that she's finally interested in eating more simply to practice her new skill. Watermelon has become a staple in our household.

Just so I remember to write it down, here is a list of what Annabelle eats at nearly 14 months:

Rice, rice cakes, avocado (only with lemon and salt and pepper!), watermelon, cucumbers (only soaked in rice vinegar!), apples (never apple sauce or juice!), celery, fig newtons (only the ones by Paul Newman!), sardines, rice noodles and (occasionally, depending on some unknown factor) chicken, beef, or pork.

And just so I can see the list myself, here is what Annabelle is allergic to: (and because I'm still nursing I can't eat these either.)

Dairy (including butter, butter flavoring, cheese, and yogurt), wheat (anything containing flour!), oats (in any form), papaya (I know! Crazy!), and eggs (at all)... I think there is more but I'm having trouble recalling it.

Anywhoo... sorry for the disjointed post. It's late and I'm just over here blathering on about my darling girl.

Every night...

...for the past 14 months I have nursed Annabelle to sleep.

But not tonight.

She went to sleep without me. Her dad rocked her to sleep and put her down semi-awake and calmed her down without having to pick her back up. And she hasn't stirred in exactly two hours.

It's a miracle.


*Thanks GGC for the inspiration!

Caught on tape: A brief encounter with a cemetery cat.

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Happy Father's Day!!!

I love you darling!!!

Cemetery PhotoBlog #2 - Mount Olive Memorial Park, Costa Mesa

Yesterday Dave went with Annabelle and I to Mount Olive Memorial Park. It's a non-secterian cemetery and the only section with tombstones was the Jewish area. Some cemeteries or memorial parks let you "decorate" while others do not... this one did, so we were constantly fending for all the lovely potted plants, wind spinners, photographs, chimes, and (of course) rocks.

My recent epiphany.

A little over a month ago Dave and I had friend come to stay with us for a few days. He was visiting from our old home town of Arcata and was in Southern California to attend a conference for work. (Gosh we miss Arcata! But that will be a post for another day...)

One night at dinner as I was serving myself a second helping of whatever it was we were eating, I apologized to our friend, "Oh, sorry, I'm just so hungry these days! I'm still nursing Annabelle and I'm still on this restricted diet and really can't get enough to eat. But the amazing thing is that I keep eating and I'm still losing weight, did you know that I've lost..." I stopped talking when I looked up and saw the look on his face. A brief second of silence and he replied, "You know, what you eat and what you weigh are really none of my business."

Oh.

And for about six weeks I have been stewing on his comment. You know what? He is TOTALLY right. I have apologized for my size way too many times in my life. I have spent way too much time feeling too tall, too big, or too strong. I have wasted too much energy on trying to explain myself when it wasn't appropriate to do so.

Here's the crazy thing: The best I ever felt about my body was in college when I weighed the most. (Not counting my pregnancy weight!) I had joined the crew team my freshman year and jumped from novice to jv to varsity boat in less than a year. I was lifting weights six times a week and looking really beefy. And I loved it! I loved that I got compliments for being strong (not skinny or sexy) and that my whole team was on a campaign to get me to gain more weight to put behind that oar.

And how strange it is looking back and noticing that some of the times when I felt my absolute worst my have been when I looked my best, at least by societal standards. Like the year I got bronchitis like ten times: I was a student, I was working two jobs, I was going through one of the worst breakups of my life, and I had a freeking six pack. And I don't think I wore anything other than tank tops with flannel shirts and jeans that year. (I'm not the most fashionably intelligent person.) My hair was in a greasy ponytail every day. I was renting a room for $200 and sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag. I could barely afford my books for school, let alone clothes or a bed.

In my current life I have a friend who makes my weight and diet her business. It drive me insane. I reply to her questions and try to be honest about my exercise habits without embarrassment even though I know I could never do enough to win her approval. My body is a topic of conversation every single time I see her. I now know beforehand to be prepared with answers that are maybe only half-truths. I don't lie, but I only tell the truth that I know she wants to hear. It's a ridiculous game and the most frustrating part of it is that after several years of this, it is finally getting to me. I find myself screaming inside, "I'M NOT FAT!" or "FOR GOD'S SAKE I JUST HAD A BABY!" But instead I quickly and quietly say something like, "You know, I'm still nursing so I can't eat a low-fat diet." or "Yes, I'm swimming three days a week and yesterday I picked up the aerobics schedule at the gym and hope to start that soon." And lately I've had these brief thoughts, "Wouldn't she like to see me exercising so hard now!" or "She would be so glad to know I just had a salad for dinner." I see how total bullshit this is, but it's happening nonetheless.

And now, in conversation with total strangers, I find myself offering justifications of my habits or sometimes boasting about how I lost all my pregnancy weight in less than six months or how I weigh less than I did when Dave and I first started dating seven years ago. And as soon as I do it I feel foolish because I know why I said it: My friend has conjured up my own little devil that sits on my shoulder telling me bad things about myself. And it doesn't feel so easy to give that devil a shrug and kick her out the door.

Please know that this post is NOT a solicitation for compliments. My whole point is simply that how you feel doesn't always correspond with how you look. Every woman I know struggles with weight and with developing a positive body image. I don't know many men who share this issue with women, but I would love to hear about it.

And I would love to know how you would handle a friend like mine. Giving her up isn't an option, and neither is telling her off... I can't change her, only the way I respond to her and the way I feel about her inappropriate questions. There are many ways that she is a very good person and a very good friend. I know that she obsesses about my weight far less than she obsesses about her own. She just has the unfortunate habit of seeing someone's weight first, before their smile, humor, warmth, or personality. In my opinion she has wasted too much of her life making other people's personal business her own. Really, there are a lot of overweight people out there and who cares?

Cemetery PhotoBlog #1 - El Campo Santo Cemetery, San Diego

I love Cemeteries. I think my fascination is rooted in visiting them with my mom as a child, but I'm not entirely sure. The mix of history, untold stories, nature, religion, and the possibility of ghosts make them irresistible to me. It's hard to explain, so I won't try. But I will show you pictures of Annabelle at our first cemetery during a visit to San Diego...

Baby Signs

I have been doing Baby Signs with Annabelle since she was about four months old. (I know, we started a little early.) Mostly we signed just "hi", "momma" and "daddy", sometimes "thank you", and occasionally "cat" or "banana" or some others.

She caught on to waving "hi" pretty quickly because she learned that she got a return wave every time. But the others have been a long time in coming... about a week ago I signed "hat" and she immediately copied me. I was shocked. So I signed "more" and she basically ignored me and went back to playing with her puzzle. I said, "hat" and she signed it again. I was SO pleased that it seemed to stick and thought that I'd come back to it later.

Then a couple days ago I was nursing her and she tried to roll off the boppy after only nursing on one side so I said, "Hey, there's more!" She pulled both hands up in front of her face and signed, "more". I was so surprised and proud of her that I kept hugging her over and over while we signed "more" again and again and again.

Since then we sign "more" and "hat" regularly, but I'm not sure she gets the meaning of the signs. Though I also recently made up a sign for nursing and she clearly recognizes the meaning of that sign.

It seems like a lot of toddlers her age are saying a lot of words. Annabelle says, "Mama" but that's about it. She babbles a LOT and enjoys conversations with me but there are no actual words being used on her side. When I expressed concern to Dave about her falling behind in the verbal development department he reminded me of her habit to plateau developmentally and then at the last second explode and rush forward, passing up her peers in the meantime.

Stay tuned.

Gimme a kiss!

Asking for a kiss...

Annabelle is really into kisses these days. Of course, everyone loves it. I try to teach her to blow kisses, or kiss on the cheek, but most of the time I just cave and give her a big kiss right back and we both laugh.

Lately she has asked for a kiss and then right at the last moment stuck her tongue out, landing a big sloppy lick on my mouth and nose. I don't know what she likes more: the fact that she knows she faked me out or my reaction, "Gah! Hey! Blech! What did you do!!?!" Either way I end up laughing at her and she at me and we just can't resist each other.

Fun times!

How many more of these to go?

Annabelle's first ride on Dad's shoulders last weekend at Balboa...

About a week ago I called our pediatrician because Annabelle had been crying a lot and I couldn't find a cause. I have learned over the last year with her that she NEVER cries without a reason. She is a tough cookie and I know when I see tears that it's real business. I have read in baby books about babies who sometimes "just need a good cry" and nothing could be farther from describing my daughter.

So to have three days in a row where she would spontaneously cry without obvious cause had me mystified. I called the doctor's office and talked to a nurse. We went through a list of possible issues and didn't really come up with anything. The most probable was that she was teething, but she was refusing ice, gum rubs, teething toys, and wasn't drooling at all.

And then yesterday I poked my finger in her mouth and felt the sharp prick of two new molars! She my growing girl!

Her Nursery

Well, it only took us over a year, but we finally have Annabelle's nursery put together. I guess in the beginning she didn't really need one, and since we were tight on space it didn't make sense to dedicate a whole room if she wasn't going to use it. Now we've moved and Annabelle has her own space.

I really like seeing the way other people put together their baby's room, so I thought I'd share a picture of Annabelle's... we are waiting for a rug that we purchased on ebay (for one third retail price!), but otherwise Annabelle has pretty much settled in to her new pad. If you are really interested, you can see a picture of the rug by clicking here.

Dave and I were really fortunate to receive many of the big items in Annabelle's room as gifts. The playstands are from Grama Carol and the changing table is from Aunt Sissy and Aunt Kristy. The recliner was brand new but had a broken piece inside of it, so the guy sold it at cost to my mom and then brought it home for my dad to fix up for us. He made it new again and at about 85 percent off the price of a new recliner...

I can be pretty resourceful when it comes to scoring big time deals too. The crib was old and crappy from a friend of a friend that she used for two boys but my dad painted it and it's practically brand new. An old girlfriend of mine gave me her super nice bedding stuff for the crib and I decorated mostly with dolls that I sewed for Annabelle myself and some silk pieces that I dyed. The lanterns were inexpensive, and I can promise just about anything else we add to the room will be purchased at a heavy discount. I'm not cheap, I just really really really like a good deal. (Okay, so maybe you think that makes me cheap? There's nothing wrong with a bargain!)

Dream girl...

Underneath the kitchen sink is one of her favorite places...

For the last five days I've been sick... a fever, some congestion, sneezing, very watery eyes, an intolerable headache and that awful feeling that I only know how to describe by saying that my hair hurt. The worst part of it was having to breathe out of my mouth while sleeping which is nearly impossible, so I would gradually close my mouth while falling asleep only to jerk awake because I couldn't breathe. An antihistamine would have been great, but the last time I took one (Children's Benadryl) and then later nursed Annabelle and she was wired, awake, and hyperactive for three hours in the middle of the night when we both should have been sleeping. So, I endured this cold drug free.

Of course I've been more obsessive than usual about hand (and face) washing, trying to protect Annabelle from my very own germs. I woke up this morning feeling a little bit better and feeling proud for getting through it without contaminating my family. And then Dave handed me a feverish Annabelle and said with a stuffed up nose, "I'b goig bag to beg." Damn.

But aside from a fever, Annabelle has been stellar today. It's been hot outside (82F) and we all know that we're just barely gearing up for the temps to hit the 90Fs throughout July and August. So late this afternoon we dropped by Grama Carols to say hi and I took Annabelle in the backyard to run around on the grass. The hose was out, so I turned it on and pointed it into the grass, creating a small sprinkler effect. At first Annabelle only wanted to try to drink the water and kept putting her mouth in and then backing off when she got sprayed in the face. I encouraged her to wet her feet and within about five minutes she was running around in her diaper giggling and pointing at the water. Another five minutes and she was naked and holding the hose straight up standing in her very own shower. It was the best time ever and Grama and I had SO much fun watching and playing with her. I cursed myself for not having a camera to take pictures, but I'm sure there will be more sprinkler time this summer.

Later, in the house after drying off and getting dressed, we were playing with a new toy that plays music when you press the doggie's nose. Annabelle likes to press the nose over and over while picking up the little balls and throwing them into the basket underneath the doggie's face. It's a bizarre little contraption, but she obviously totally digs it. Today, for the very first time, Annabelle danced to the music! She's got some killer tribal moves and does her stepping sideways and forward while moving her hands in unison. After we arrived home from Grama's we all danced together in the living room, each of us laughing joyfully. It was a great time!

Here is a quick video of Annabelle dancing... it's a little dark, sorry.



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