Determination

Tonight the three of us went to an ice skating party. It was probably the fifth or sixth time I've skated in my entire life, and the first time in over twenty years for Dave. It was a first for Annabelle.

She was eager to get on the ice, I had to ask her many times to wait for me to get my skates on before she just went out and plunged into the crowd. First we practiced just standing on the rubber mat, then I tried to talk to her about how to remember to bend her knees, but she would have none of that, telling me, "LET'S GO. NOW."

One time around the rink and I was exhausted. I just carried 55 pounds with one arm for fifteen minutes. So for a moment we practiced standing on the ice, moving our hands in the way we want our feet to move, but she wanted to hug the side and be left alone. So I traded off with Dave.

Thirty minutes later I check in and he's standing on the sideline watching her. He saw me and said, "She's pretty determined. She wants this pretty bad."

I summoned her for dinner, but after two bites she begged to get back on the ice, "I will go BY MYSELF."

You would think that I would get used to how independent and driven my daughter is when it comes to learning something new. But it continues to surprise me, and I marvel at her willingness and perseverance. She fell down countless times. I gasped each time. But it was clearly harder for me than for her.

After almost two hours of skating, she fell down pretty hard. I skated over and pulled her up as she screamed. I dusted the snow from her wet pants, I hugged her and she really started crying hard. She turned around to face me and screamed in my face, "DON'T TOUCH ME! LEAVE ME ALONE! I want to do this ALL BY MYSELF and all I WANT is for YOU to leave me ALONE so I can FIGURE IT OUT!!!"

Oh, pardon me. Guess it wasn't the right time for hugs and kisses. Like Dave said, she was pretty determined.

She skated until the announcement came that the night was over and it was time to leave. Then she cried in earnest, not ready to go. She had not achieved the bar of excellence that she had set for herself in the mere two hours she had practiced.

It was one of those nights to marvel at my own daughter. Dave took a short video of us skating together...

In my next life

Annabelle :: Mom, when you die could you ask God for two daughters next time?

Young Love

Annabelle :: Mom. Zack says he's not in love with me any more.

(pause)

Annabelle :: So we are not going to be married.

Me :: How do you feel about that?

Annabelle :: Fine. I'm now looking for someone to marry. I'm not sure who it might be.

Me :: I see.

Annabelle :: Maybe I will marry Samuel... I don't know. Maybe it will be Oliver. Yes, Oliver, that would be a good choice.

Wishes

Yesterday a girlfriend gave me a little necklace as a late birthday present. I was to make a wish before I put it on and when the silk string wears out and the necklace falls off, my wish comes true. Of course, Annabelle loves the little silver moon pendant and wants it for herself. She whined and pouted until she finally settled on wanting to know something else.

Annabelle :: Tell us what you wished for.

Me :: I wished for certain things to happen at school, I wished that your dad and I will love each other forever, I wished for help to make some decisions.

Annabelle :: (whispered in my ear) You should have wished that I wouldn't whine.

Letters

After school, talking about our day:

Me:: Did you write any letters today?

Annabelle:: Yes! (motions in the air with her finger)  Another M!

Me:: I see. I think most people probably call that a double-u.

Annabelle:: What-ever!

First day of school!

Two friends, excited to start first grade!

So, so sweet.

I love that Annabelle will graduate from high school with the same children that started kindergarten with her two years ago...

Summer catch up:: Annabelle as photographer

Annabelle has begun to sneak away with my camera to take photographs. I found these and thought I'd share them with you... 

Summer catch up:: Sofrito

This summer I discovered Puerto Rican food. After a little bit of research I discovered a primary ingredient is something called Sofrito. I needed it to make Puerto Rican beans, and after learning that there was no ready-made sofrito that did not contain MSG, I decided to make my own.

A little goes a long way, so now I have a freezer full of flattened freezer bags, ready to break off chunks as needed. And the beans I made were delicious!

Puerto Rican Beans

2-3T olive oil

1/2 onion

2t oregano

1/2C sofrito

saute for about ten minutes, then add:

1 large potato in chunks

a handful of manzanilla olives

3-4oz tomato/pizza sauce

1C water

cook until potatoes are almost tender, then add:

2 cans of pink beans

Voila!

Summer catch up:: summer

Francis.

Summer catch up:: growing up

Writing.

Ready for first grade!

Summer catch up:: Lazuring our new campus

Lazuring. It's good work!

Summer catch up:: Disneyland

I have no idea what Disney character this is, but it was a good hug.

Annabelle is just there, a bit to the left.

True love. For having never seen a Disney movie, or owned Disney toys, or worn Disney clothes, she loves this mouse loads. Walt was definitely onto something.

(And did you know the characters have eyes that actually blink now?)

Blowing a kiss to Mary Poppins.

Summer catch up:: The funeral

Summer catch up: Mar Vista

Our brief 1-day adventure into whipping cream...

...was mighty good on oatmeal!

Making a trail...

...a skipping trail!

Little crabs tickle.

Pardon me.

Fresh oysters!

The family photo for this year's Christmas card?

Church

Annabelle and I poked our heads into a little church today, to look around. We lit candles at the altar for my uncle who recently passed away, and for my mom. We were sharing about our time together with my folks over dinner.

Annabelle :: And then we went into the church.

Grampa :: (joking) Anyone there we know?

Annabelle :: No. Just one girl, sittin' there prayerin'.

Baby Sweet Baby

Our friends from Illinois came to visit today and look who they brought!

There were so many laughs and happy smiles... and the baby had a good time too.

Girlfriend

This is one of my dearest friends. Isn't she beautiful? I just found out she's moving to Ireland in a few months. I am simultaneously so happy for her and heartbroken.

We found this patio and some good food and sat there for a couple hours having good conversation. It is amazing how it feels just like it did twelve years ago.

It's so fun when you have a friend long enough to have little sayings between you, and little memories have added up over time that make every get-together somehow fit into the same ever-widening picture of yourselves. And so special to have a friend that you can grow with and know that your ever-evolving self will always fit within the context of the love you share.

I already miss you!

Heaven

One of the highlights of camping in Big Sur was the time we spent playing in the river. After getting acclimated to the cool water, it was divine to drift in the currents. I love to float with my eyes closed, but thirty seconds of floating had me really far down the river, so I had to come up with a strategy for staying local. I propped my feet up on a rock and floated to my hearts content. 

A woman watching from the shore snapped this picture of me on her iPhone and emailed it to me today. (I would never have believed I would post a picture of me in my swim suit on my blog, given that I rarely even wear tank tops in public, but this one seems pretty reasonable.)

I have got to figure out how to float like this more often! There is something about it that puts me right with myself. I sigh just remembering it.

Teacher's Conference

At the teacher's conference last week, we used clay to model the varied metamorphosis of the brain in the fetus. It was fascinating and awe inspiring. Here I am watching my colleague sculpt a pre-natal portion of the brain stem.

The row on top is my contribution of the gradual fetal development of the grey matter in the brain. The row on the bottom is the metamorphosis of the spinal column, also In Utero, done by my sculpting partner. We worked on each stage together, the first three steps are the same, showing how varied the interpretations can be of the same information.

Here a teacher laughs at my embarrassment for standing there distracted with a cell phone, trying to take the picture of the clay forms that are above, while he watched. Luckily, when people laugh at me, I usually join in.

Big Sur = Wonderful

Peace.

I spent the entire first day just zoning out.

We took walks every day among the redwoods.

Fried plantains.

Working up some clay, getting ready for third grade.

Word search!

Practicing a proper pencil grip in preparation for first grade.

The inner meets the outer.

Swimming in the river.

This didn't last long, I was in swimming around right away.

They shared long conversations.

They spent many, many hours together.

Packed up for the drive home.

Last hike to the falls.