Today is my third consecutive day without having a voice. It makes for quite a different kind of time - no conversation in the morning, no sing-along with Annabelle on the way to school, no hellos in the corridor or calling out to catch someone walking by! And though I am able to lead my class through our usual morning rhythm, cuing them to begin their verse, speech exercises, and songs, the mood is very different. It has been very, very, very quiet.
Being quiet makes life quiet. I speak in a whisper hardly audible and, funny, everyone responds to me by also speaking in a whisper, both children and adults alike. I also get to be a better listener. And, for some funny reason, people seem to hear me more clearly when I can't speak. Kind of nice to be mute.
Still, I don't think I've gone three days without singing in pretty long time. It can feel so gratifying to sing a song out loud with the children in my class, or to laugh aloud with a friend, and I miss that already. Thankfully I have been well enough to smile through the experience.
Though it's been tricky, Dave and I have figured out how to meet for lunch once a week in the middle of the day. It is a brief rendevous, but so nice to have time with each other! Today we met at a place that we picked out online and I just couldn't make my picky self sit in their vinyl seats for more than a minute before I declared that we had to leave. So we ended up at a cheap dim sum cafe and I lamented that our special time was not spent in a special place. The music was blaring and conversation was nearly impossible, given my whisper status.
Dave :: Don't worry, next week I know where we'll go.
Me :: [whispering] Where?
Dave :: To this cool Japanese Tapas Bar.
Me :: [wide eyed] A Japanese topless bar??
Dave :: Yes! You'll love it!
Me :: Really?
Dave :: Yes. I go all the time, it's right across from my work.
Me :: You do?
Dave :: Yes, you wouldn't even know it's there. It's tucked way in the corner of this strip mall.
Me :: You go to a topless bar all the time?
Dave :: The food is really good.
Me :: [turning my furrowed brow down to my pork bun, not sure what to think or say of this entire situation]
Dave :: [contentedly eating his chow mein]
Me :: Are you SURE this is something I would like? It's a restaurant?
Dave :: [wide eyed, looking at me with his palms up, with an expression that says, What the hell is wrong with you?]
Me :: I just have to ask one more time: they are topless? As in "I'm Japanese and I'm not wearing a shirt, may I take your order?"
Dave laughed so hard he had to put both palms and his forehead to rest on the table before he could say more clearly: TAPAS.
Oh.
Tonight at bed time Annabelle asked me if I was ever going to be able to find my voice again. She seemed fearful and then added, "Does children ever lose their voices?" Such a sweet moment of remembering the magic that the young child lives with... things like voices can just get lost and not find their way back home! I explained that my angel probably had it and was taking good care of it because I had left it somewhere when I was looking for a dream. I promised to talk to her tonight and ask for it back.
Being quiet makes life quiet. I speak in a whisper hardly audible and, funny, everyone responds to me by also speaking in a whisper, both children and adults alike. I also get to be a better listener. And, for some funny reason, people seem to hear me more clearly when I can't speak. Kind of nice to be mute.
Still, I don't think I've gone three days without singing in pretty long time. It can feel so gratifying to sing a song out loud with the children in my class, or to laugh aloud with a friend, and I miss that already. Thankfully I have been well enough to smile through the experience.
Though it's been tricky, Dave and I have figured out how to meet for lunch once a week in the middle of the day. It is a brief rendevous, but so nice to have time with each other! Today we met at a place that we picked out online and I just couldn't make my picky self sit in their vinyl seats for more than a minute before I declared that we had to leave. So we ended up at a cheap dim sum cafe and I lamented that our special time was not spent in a special place. The music was blaring and conversation was nearly impossible, given my whisper status.
Dave :: Don't worry, next week I know where we'll go.
Me :: [whispering] Where?
Dave :: To this cool Japanese Tapas Bar.
Me :: [wide eyed] A Japanese topless bar??
Dave :: Yes! You'll love it!
Me :: Really?
Dave :: Yes. I go all the time, it's right across from my work.
Me :: You do?
Dave :: Yes, you wouldn't even know it's there. It's tucked way in the corner of this strip mall.
Me :: You go to a topless bar all the time?
Dave :: The food is really good.
Me :: [turning my furrowed brow down to my pork bun, not sure what to think or say of this entire situation]
Dave :: [contentedly eating his chow mein]
Me :: Are you SURE this is something I would like? It's a restaurant?
Dave :: [wide eyed, looking at me with his palms up, with an expression that says, What the hell is wrong with you?]
Me :: I just have to ask one more time: they are topless? As in "I'm Japanese and I'm not wearing a shirt, may I take your order?"
Dave laughed so hard he had to put both palms and his forehead to rest on the table before he could say more clearly: TAPAS.
Oh.
Tonight at bed time Annabelle asked me if I was ever going to be able to find my voice again. She seemed fearful and then added, "Does children ever lose their voices?" Such a sweet moment of remembering the magic that the young child lives with... things like voices can just get lost and not find their way back home! I explained that my angel probably had it and was taking good care of it because I had left it somewhere when I was looking for a dream. I promised to talk to her tonight and ask for it back.
